All you have to do…

* forgive my polemic of a post. I am frustrated, but I believe that what I'm saying is relevant and valuable.

How many painfully myopic statements have begun with “All you have to do…”? It’s amazing how everyone

can fix our political system; cure plights such as poverty, inequality, and disease; and put anyone’s life back on track simply by beginning a sentence this way. An example that is currently grating on me is the response my friends and partner are currently hearing regarding finding work. “All you have to do is more research… more follow-up phone calls… more applications...” More! More! More!

When we respond to problems with “all you have to do…” we deny the dignity of the problem. Regarding my previous example, simply stating that the person should do more denies the work they have put it. It blames the applicant for applications ignored and phones that don’t ring.  It also fails to sympathize- to see that unemployment is a terribly painful situation. It is an everyday reminder that you are unworthy of a place in the economy, in the world, whether these feelings are unfounded or not, they are very real.

This response also implies that you know better. It’s a complete condescension. It fuels division. It’s a conversation-stopper.  

My friends in affordable housing-- how many times have we told our clients “All you have to do…”? “All you have to do is stop drinking.” “All you have to do is follow my lead.” “All you have to do is try a little harder.” We know that we can’t provide the perfect solution in one step, yet this statement shifts our understanding to an overly simplistic, unrealistic facsimile of a complex issue.

Let us remember that the way we talk about an issue becomes the way we approach it, and that maintaining a “big picture” outlook can ultimately make us more sympathetic to our partners in problem-solving and can better equip us to handle the situation.