Weekend of Weird at the ReStore

This weekend is super weird at the ReStore! Check out some of the finds.

Remember these?

Perhaps the weirdest of all-- a riot mask!

Packing peanuts! So many pack peanuts!

And finally, bathtub row! so many terribly fantastic colors to choose from!

On that note, have a wonderful, weird weekend!

Youth- Wasted on No One.

Monday, I taught one of our homeownership classes. We have been revamping some of the classes, Conflict Management being one of them. Since I have a background in psychology and experience putting on workshops, the homeownership director decided that the first go at the new curriculum should be mine (let me express here my deep gratitude for the affiliate’s trust in my abilities). I prepared heartily and thought through every detail, but something about the night caught me off guard and left me pondering.

 This workshop stood in stark contrast to the type of classes I often teach. My background has been heavily focused on youth activists. I’ve had very little experience teaching adults, and I can’t say that I’ve ever been comfortable with it. It’s strange: I can have a room of 17-year-olds dancing like penguins in less than five minutes, but an hour in a room with adult strangers leaves me wringing my hands. This workshop did likewise. The evaluations came back to us very positive, but I had a very hard time getting them to talk. The workshop was formatted to be interactive, but my inability to coax out their participation left it unfulfilled in my eyes.

I’ve spent the last four days trying to put my finger on the differences between the youth and adults I find myself teaching. I’ve considered cultural and social circumstances and narrowed into psychological differences. For example, I find at the conferences I used to plan for WV SADD, the youth formed strong bonds, a sense of comradery almost instantly. They were all there for the same reason, with a common purpose. The partner families here at Habitat have a common purpose, but it is not a uniting one. They are all here to work toward their homes, but the result is individual.

In youth, I find the ultimate uniting characteristic is self-efficacy. Every young person I’ve ever worked with knew that they could impact the world. I think this spirit is something we try to re-instill in our partner families. Often they come to us feeling like life happened to them, like they lost control. Habitat helps them gain back some of that control, and hopefully some of that youthful zest as well.

So my question to you is this: do you feel like you have the power to change the world, or have you “out-grown” it?    

Presidential Legacy

Listening to the President's speech last week reminded me of something ...

After Robert C. Byrd's funeral, a group of people waited for President Obama to pass us in the motorcade. Two little African American girls were next to me, and when he passed, their faces filled with light. In that moment, I realized what Obama's Presidency really means in this country, that every child can truly feel represented. Agree or disagree with the policies he may pursue, but recognize that his mere presence in the public arena gives hope and power to children who never knew they could find it from Washington. 

You think that skin color shouldn't matter? This country has been known to elect Presidents due to a deeper voice or a more handsome face; to say that appearance doesn't matter anymore is a lie that ignores human nature.

Mitzi--- I'm looking at you!

We are deep into Summer! Don't forget to spend a day volunteering with Habitat! We are working Tuesdays through Saturdays! Sign up here at http://hfhkp.volunteerhub.com/Events/Index

Do it Mitzi and bring your sons!

=)

Jeannie

I Hope You're Happy

What initially comes to mind when you think of happiness and Habitat for Humanity? I’m guessing you picture a family moving into their new home, or maybe a smiling volunteer, hammering a nail on the job site. That is where my mind instantly goes, but what about the happiness of those behind the scenes?

Aristotle said, “Happiness is the ultimate end and purpose of human existence.” I am currently reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin (and I highly recommend it), and thinking about happiness as a personal pursuit. When Rubin began her Happiness Project, she received backlash from friends who considered her project selfish. She even questioned if this was a worthy goal, and fell back on our friend Aristotle for absolution. In our work, we often find that our goal is the happiness of others. Indeed, providing shelter to those in need is worthy work, but the everyday tasks involved in this work may find us sacrificing our personal happiness for the cause.

“We must, therefore, pursue the things that make for happiness, seeing that when happiness is present, we have everything; but when it is absent, we do everything to possess it.”
― Epicurus

 Building and maintaining our personal happiness will only improve the work we perform in this internship and beyond, and while there is a lot to be said for finding happiness by making others happy, we greatly benefit by looking beyond our work and performing a happiness check-up on the rest of our  lives. I really encourage you to look at Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project website if you are interested in exploring this for yourself. Remarkably, her latest blog post is on healing professions and happiness!  

Have a great weekend, everyone! 

All you have to do…

* forgive my polemic of a post. I am frustrated, but I believe that what I'm saying is relevant and valuable.

How many painfully myopic statements have begun with “All you have to do…”? It’s amazing how everyone

can fix our political system; cure plights such as poverty, inequality, and disease; and put anyone’s life back on track simply by beginning a sentence this way. An example that is currently grating on me is the response my friends and partner are currently hearing regarding finding work. “All you have to do is more research… more follow-up phone calls… more applications...” More! More! More!

When we respond to problems with “all you have to do…” we deny the dignity of the problem. Regarding my previous example, simply stating that the person should do more denies the work they have put it. It blames the applicant for applications ignored and phones that don’t ring.  It also fails to sympathize- to see that unemployment is a terribly painful situation. It is an everyday reminder that you are unworthy of a place in the economy, in the world, whether these feelings are unfounded or not, they are very real.

This response also implies that you know better. It’s a complete condescension. It fuels division. It’s a conversation-stopper.  

My friends in affordable housing-- how many times have we told our clients “All you have to do…”? “All you have to do is stop drinking.” “All you have to do is follow my lead.” “All you have to do is try a little harder.” We know that we can’t provide the perfect solution in one step, yet this statement shifts our understanding to an overly simplistic, unrealistic facsimile of a complex issue.

Let us remember that the way we talk about an issue becomes the way we approach it, and that maintaining a “big picture” outlook can ultimately make us more sympathetic to our partners in problem-solving and can better equip us to handle the situation.  

It’s time to Out our Opinions

One day in college, I was chatting with a friend. In that way that college connections seem to arise, he told me that he had just had lunch with a woman in my Spanish class, and my name had come up. He said that she described me as “opinionated”. He saw no problem with this description. He knew better than most that I am incredibly opinionated. However, my female friend and I winced and giggled at the description. Girls, you get it. “Opinionated” in the world of ladies is synonymous with… well, allow me to be blunt… bitch.

Now, if I ever write an autobiography, I want it to be titled OPINIONATED (or opinion8ed… which will probably be typical for book titles by this time). It would be an honor to be remembered as opinionated. Now, this doesn't mean that I want to be perceived as a person that just has to be heard, even if I have nothing valuable to add. But let’s face it: opinions move us. They move the world.

I have worked with people-pleasers my entire life. These people only have one opinion: yours. Oh! They are frustrating, but boy do most people adore them. They provide the validation that so many seem to live on. I just know that most people-pleasers have valuable things to say, but they spend would-be constructive time nodding, smiling and back-patting.

I say it’s time for a revolution: down with people-pleasers! Opinions need their time, and everyone needs to demand a little time to be heard. I mean, say something of value. Think through your opinions. BUT BE YOUR OWN ADVOCATE! 

Oh, and for those times when no one wants to listen, I recommend this article from Tiny Buddha.